Problem of the Week

Dear Emily:

My future son-in-law's aunts are giving a bridal shower soon for my daughter, Samantha. They've invited me, and, of course, I want to bring a gift for Samantha myself. My first thought was to give her a painting that she has admired for many years. But when I look back on my wedding showers, I was given useful things. I happen to have a brand-new soap-scum remover for shower stalls and the like in the house. Do you think that would be better than the painting? Perhaps I should consult the department store registry.

Dear Muddled,

When someone throws a kitchen shower, toolbox shower or another shower with a utilitarian theme, useful gifts are indeed expected. However, if no theme is provided, the guests customarily offer small things that will help a bride regard marriage with great anticipation. These usually have to do with new opportunities to entertain guests or to decorate a home. A gift that emphasized the more pedestrian realities of housekeeping, such as soap scum, might not be in the same spirit. Therefore, I consider the painting the superior choice. And its sentimental value should make it dearer to your daughter than any department store selection.

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